Speculating


By Lina



there are times when I ponder about the things I’ve done 
second guess myself, speculating all the possible out comes 
and I got to wondering if you do the same 
think of me, yeah I know it’s lame 
but I have this desire to write it down 
should some day, you come sniffing around 
asking of me 
to tell you how it is I feel 
asking of me 
“so what was the deal” 
and I’ll tell you… it isn’t pleasant to hear 
our time together is just a smear 
cause by the end you were unkind 
and in the end you let me down all the time 
and I’ll tell you what a failure I feel like 
failed to move the boulders 
and failed to carry you on my shoulders 
that you might bathe in the light 
of health and happiness 
and how I feel like I could have done more 
but by that time I was too tired and sore 
and how I should have fought for you to the end 
to make it work, but you weren’t worth it my friend 
maybe you were right and I am not so tough 

you said I ran like a coward when times got rough
and I did break my vows to you 
and I did leave you behind 
and I promised I wouldn’t 
I guess I lied


Lina 3-12-2003
May not be reused without written permission of author.