Final Words

By David Stallard

Imagine if there was this guy who has a one-off trike that himself and a few friends had taken many years to perfect. Then, four to five months later, makes the unfortunate decision to do a part exchange with a so-called ‘reputable’ bike shop for a V-Max. Imagine his surprise when he later finds out the V-Max was damaged when it fell off the buyer’s trailer. Then imagine even further surprise when the afore-mentioned buyer denies this, even though there is a gouge out of the underside of the diff unit as well as a crack on the inside of the clutch casing (which mysteriously has a centre pop mark at either end to try and stop it spreading….)

Now, what if, a few months later, the Max owner picks up the new edition of AWOL magazine, and whilst leafing through it he finds to his horror that his old trike is right there in full colour with a write-up that can only be described as a work of complete and utter fabrication. Perhaps plagiarism is a better word to use. Apparently, the buyer of the trike not mentioning paying £5,500 for what he described as a “sad and Smokey” old trike. Funny isn’t it? You wouldn’t have thought a ‘reputable’ buyer worth his salt would deem this a fair price at the time of purchase for something he evidently considered somewhat lacking in quality. There was even mention of some rust having set in, which is particularly strange considering this machine could have been left unpainted all that time and would still only have a slight surface rust on it.

Don’t stop though - there is more. Picture the Max owner, reading in total disbelief as this incompetent fool (whom, from this point forward, will be referred to as ‘the plagiarist’) describes how, after an accident with a hay lorry, the trike was extensively re-built, with extra bracing. Perhaps the Max owner decided to dig out the original photos of the trike, and sits down with the original fabricator, and what do you know? Well, there is just so much difference, lets see… mirror, paint, front indicators. Yep, that is definitely some major bracing there. Why, how on earth did it ever stay in one piece?, he wonders.

Maybe he then reads that the engine is ‘NOW’ a 2.1 lump (yet he is sure it always has been), and looking closer, he sees that NOTHING has in fact changed on the engine at all… why, it even still has the laser disc on the alternator that was stolen from the Max owner’s wife! Perhaps, upon looking even closer, he sees that the stickers on the fuel tank are even still in their original place.

As if that wasn’t enough, the plagiarist then goes on in this article to explain all about the parts that are ‘NOW’ on it. Yamaha forks, (wrong! Suzuki) heavy-duty Yam fork brace, (wrong! Home made with maker’s initials stamped on it) Porsche gear box, (wrong! Standard VW variant) make of wheels (wrong! Steel chrome modulars) Porsche spoiler (wrong! VW all fibre copy)… the list goes on. The Max owner can’t help thinking that If the plagiarist actually knew anything about the business he was in, he surely would have known all this, or at least had the intelligence to look through the receipts? Or could he, in fact, be a half-witted, incapable moron after all?

Oh yeah, and to add insult to injury, rather than incur the enormously extravagant expense of £10 Sterling on a new number plate, imagine if the plagiarist just crosses out the original owner’s trade name off the bottom of the old plate, sprays HIS company name on the back of the spoiler, and then has the audacity to put it in his advert, as if to say “this is the standard of work we can do”.

Maybe the plagiarist doesn’t realise that the Max owner has seen the trikes that the plagiarist builds, and can say with complete confidence that the plagiarist evidently hasn’t the vaguest clue about these things, and is therefore almost certainly a fraudulent crook. Perhaps the Max owner is also aware that the plagiarist has upset and disgusted so many people that he has actually done more harm than good to his business (as this particular trike was well known country-wide)…

The Max owner remembers the old saying “what goes around comes around” and smiles.
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